How To Cuss Like An Aspie

Warning:  Almost profanity used in post.

Before the story begins, some background.  There are a few younger teens in our neighborhood that sometimes wander down our circle, and I've heard a bit of unsavory language as they meander.  Of course, if kids are playing in the front yard or riding bikes, they hear what is said.  Mac, having Asperger Syndrome, is a parrot.  A parrot with excellent hearing.

The Opie Taylor, angelic face boy.

Additionally, explaining things to Mac can keep you talking in circles forever.  Implied meanings are no good when dealing with him.  Sometimes I fail to be very specific...fail to  explain things in detail.  For example, I am in the kitchen and from upstairs I hear...

"Bad 'S' word!  Bad 'S' word!  Bad 'S' word!"

So I march up the stairs to speak with the potty mouth boy.  "Mac, that is not acceptable language.  Talking that way is the same as actually saying the ugly word."

"Lee kicked me in the b*lls, and it hurts like bad 'H' word" he says while rolling on the floor.

"Mac! Stop saying THOSE words."

"Which words?  My b*lls hurt like bad 'H' word."

(A bit of sympathy for the pain is given.)

So I have to resort to using the actual words, sh*t and h*ll, in context in order for Mac to understand what he is saying that is not acceptable language.  (I don't broach the use of b*alls.  I'm leaving that for Dad.)  We discuss that clearly he knows those words are inappropriate.  Then I explain to him that saying 'bad S word' is the same as saying sh*t and saying 'bad H word' is the same as saying h*ll.   I end our talk.  "Mac, do you understand which words you may not use?"

His reply, "Yes."

Then I ask, "Mac do you understand that saying 'bad S word' is the same as saying sh*t and that saying 'bad H word' is he same as saying h*ll?"

Again he replies, "Yes."

"Mac, you know not to use any of those words, right?"

"Right."

As I sigh "OK" and turn to walk out of his room, I hear...

"Bad 'D' word, it still hurts."

Sometimes I forget that as an Aspie, Mac doesn't apply a lesson learned in one context (in this case, with regard to specific words) to similar scenarios. 

I smiled and kept walking.  We'll save the bad 'D' word lesson for another day.