Tricia Goyer is the author of twelve books including From Dust and Ashes, My Life UnScripted, and the children's book, 10 Minutes to Showtime. She won Historical Novel of the Year in 2005 and 2006 from ACFW, and was honored with the Writer of the Year award from Mt. Hermon Writer's Conference in 2003. Tricia's book Life Interrupted was a finalist for the Gold Medallion in 2005. In addition to her novels, Tricia writes non-fiction books and magazine articles for publications like Today's Christian Woman and Focus on the Family. Tricia is a regular speaker at conventions and conferences, and has been a workshop presenter at the MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) International Conventions. She and her family make their home in the mountains of Montana.
The first chapter of Tricia's book, Generation NeXt Marriage, includes the statement:
To be truthful the last seventeen years haven't been all cupcakes and sprinkles. To put it bluntly, John and I were young and dumb when we got married (or at least I was). And we've made a lot of mistakes (mostly me). But we made a commitment to see this thing through. To work for our marriage. To love the other person even when he or she seems unlovely.
I can honestly say that both my husband and I were young and dumb. Having gotten married at the age of eighteen, we literally grew up together and that included a period of growing apart. Fortunately, we survived a near divorce...tearing up the papers rather than signing them...and lived to love and appreciate each other deeply. But it never has and never will be a romantic fantasy.
Marriage is work. Tricia reminded me of this fact. Lately, I have not been working diligently for our marriage. While I could have chosen any chapter topic to discuss...intimacy, everyday stuff, different by design, communication, dirty laundry, romancing your spouse (I fall short with each of these)...taking care of yourself caught me completely off guard.
Tricia reminds me...
- My spouse is visual, and he appreciates it when I look good.
- When I'm exercising, eating right and resting, I enjoy better health, peace of mind, energy for all my tasks.
- If I do not meet my needs in healthy ways, then I will meet them--even if unintentionally--in unhealthy ways.
I exercise diligently and eat healthy, but there is another aspect which is sorely neglected by me. I have been a frumpy dump for a year. Rarely giving any attention to my appearance while around the house, and as a homeschooling mom I am always around the house. When my husband comes home he is greeted by an unattractive mess. Yet, he smiles, kisses me and says "I love you". If I were him, I would look the other way and gag.
"When I look at myself, my first inclination is to identify my faults." Thanks again, Tricia. My husband regularly looks at me with complete love and adoration. He compliments me with his eyes, his touch, his words...yet, I deflect every comment. The conversations go something like this...
Donning baggy sweat pants, a holey faded t-shirt, barefoot, hair tangled while shoveling wet clothes from the washer to the dryer. Enter sweet husband smiling lovingly at me.
"Hi, beautiful."
Me, looking up rolling eyes, "Yeah, sure. Where are your glasses?"
~~~
Chasing the boys around the house during a frantic moment of wild-frenzy-freaking, probably wearing the same aforementioned outfit, enter same husband smiling lovingly at me.
"You have a great butt" he says grabbing a handful.
Stopping in my tracks, sweating from the chase, I blurt, "Right. Did you not feel the flab?"
~~~
Me, sitting on the sofa reading a book after putting the boys to bed. You guessed it, wearing the same attractive outfit. The adoring husband sits beside me, puts his arms around me and kisses my neck.
"Melody, you are more beautiful every day. I love you."
"I love you, too. You deserve a sweet, beautiful wife. Not an aging, grumpy old woman" comes my reply.
~~~
I have issues. And my husband is tired of hearing me put myself down. Tricia's book has brought this to the forefront of my thinking and steps have been taken to improve my at-home appearance and view of myself. Think good thoughts for me. I need them.
Generation NeXt Marriage is written about real marriage in a real manner. I love that Tricia uses songs of the 80's as well as books and movies to bring home her points. In doing so she brings back a ton of almost forgotten memories. Tricia has written a creative, Biblically-based book on the challenges of marriage which offers realistic help while sharing her own tribulations and joys. She reminds me of the intimate bond that God intends my marriage to be.
(This giveaway has ended.)
Want a chance to win a copy of Generation NeXt Marriage? Simply leave a comment on this post by midnight EST Wednesday, April 16. The winner will be chosen via random.org and announced on Thursday, April 17. Please be sure to leave your email so that you can be contacted should you win. And...
Would you like to win $50 for a romantic dinner to your favorite restaurant? Click over to Tricia’s Gen X blog and read all about her contest. Just tell her how you met your hubby. The stories will be printed on her site, and the one with the most comments will win. It’s open to bloggers and non-bloggers alike.
Read Chapter One.
Go ahead, buy the book.
