Have you ever discovered yourself missing?
Lost who you were, what you were doing?
I found myself making myself less and less available to my family as a way of dealing with the stress which comes with our lives. I've been pulling away from them. Filling my time with...stuff...and doings.
I thought this was the way to 'find me' again.
But it hasn't made me a happy person. I've simply lost more of me...by losing some of them.
And so I took some time to think about all of this and to tell them...my family...I am sorry. I need you. You are me, as I am you. We are us. And that's the way it will be, always.
As I finished revealing what I believed to be this secret..the one about me pulling away from them to selfishly save myself... which I alone owned, me - sole proprietor...
...he, my husband, smiled, hugged me and said "I know. Glad you're back. I love you."
...as the boys each whispered, "I love you, mom" and hugged me.
And I felt as though I was lying naked on the floor...exposed, vulnerable and yet, safe.
I am not separate from them, nor they from me. We are us.
And no part of me was ever lost.
I...and we...are happy.
And that is where I am...
...and will be.
