Lying Naked on the Floor

Have you ever discovered yourself missing?

Lost who you were, what you were doing?

 

I found myself making myself less and less available to my family as a way of dealing with the stress which comes with our lives.  I've been pulling away from them.  Filling my time with...stuff...and doings.

I thought this was the way to 'find me' again.

But it hasn't made me a happy person.  I've simply lost more of me...by losing some of them.

And so I took some time to think about all of this and to tell them...my family...I am sorry.  I need you.  You are me, as I am you.  We are us.  And that's the way it will be, always.

As I finished revealing what I believed to be this secret..the one about me pulling away from them to selfishly save myself... which I alone owned, me - sole proprietor...

...he, my husband, smiled, hugged me and said "I know. Glad you're back. I love you."

...as the boys each whispered, "I love you, mom" and hugged me.

And I felt as though I was lying naked on the floor...exposed, vulnerable and yet, safe.

I am not separate from them, nor they from me.  We are us.

And no part of me was ever lost.

I...and we...are happy.

And that is where I am...

...and will be.