If I loved you less, I could talk about it more.
~~Jane Austin
♡
The earth spins, always.
It doesn't stop to mourn our pain or celebrate our joy...it keeps spinning.
Sadness, gladness come, go,
the earth keeps spinning.
Life begins, life ends,
the earth keeps spinning.
You are not with me,
the earth keeps spinning.
♡
I love you with an ache more intense than the pain of labor.
I did not endure labor pains to become your mother
But I am your mother
and now
the pain.
Pain which mortifies me because
I know that
My pain pales beside yours.
Please, please
believe that
you have strength which you've yet to find.
Search, dig, claw your way
and find your strength.
You are a capable, beautiful soul.
I know you.
You can do this.
I am your mother.
I have always loved you, and
I always will.
♡
While I know that often the best decision is the most difficult,
my struggle is accepting that the best decision was to
place my child for treatment where
no one truly loves him.
At bedtime no one hugs him and whispers "I love you".
That's for me to do,
and I'm not there.
I can't hold him.
He can't hear me.
And his bed in his home
is empty.
♡
I hold steadfastly
to faith,
to believing through my faith that
that what I have done matters.
Without faith
I could not do this.
Without faith
I could not make him do this.
♡
I suppose the reason these words were written is
with the hope that someone will find strength among them.
I don't know;
maybe it's me searching for strength.
♡
