Slurping Life

Reading The Book As Written

It does not mean ignoring, passively living.  It means loving, nurturing, accepting and understanding your child with special needs in order to help him fulfill his life.  Life is not about re-writing the book that has been written.  It is about reading it.

And please..with our family plethora of special needs...never pity us.

Perhaps you don't agree.  Me, I agree with those who are speaking proudly.  And I shutter at the words of influential people who speak of me as heartbroken and my children as hopeless.  But I understand that only parents blessed with special purpose children truly grasp the reality of the depth of joy, hope and purpose that lives in our non-judgmental children who unconditionally love and accept others.

As I have said before, I love my children.  I pray for them...for me...for my husband...for us...that their limitations strengthen them and me...that they not be limited by my limitations...or by the limitations of others.

Now I am going back to working on a project with moms who want to support and uplift all parents...and who see the value, hope and purpose of our special children...of all children.

I hope you will visit the links in this post.  I would appreciate hearing your honest thoughts in comments here.  No judging from me.

*edit:  I see in viewing my control panel that oodles of you are reading, but not commenting.  Please, I would love to hear from you on this.  Thanks.

Honeysuckle Angels

The vine...damn the vine.  It creeps back into my life, slowly, lusciously growing over the fence into my yard...into my life...into my memory.  Honeysuckle. 

Long ago...a little girl sits huddled, cradled deep inside a cold, wet ditch clutching her infant sister.  Safe.  My job is to keep her safe.  Crying.  The memory is too strong.  Why?  Why does mama stay with daddy?  The honeysuckle smells so sweet.  Angels must smell like this.  Is it honeysuckle or angels hovering over me?  God, please let it be angels...

Last evening...we sit on the steps of the deck, the honeysuckle vine creeps over the fence into our back yard...

"Mom" says Lee.

"What, sweetie?"

"Will it always be this hard?"

"Will what always be this hard?"

"My life" he responds.

"Probably."

"Mom, I'm not sure I can do this."

"I'm sure that you can."

"But I'm not sure that I want to" he says while walking away.

Deep within me a voice whispers "neither am I"...and the scent of honeysuckle blossoms takes me back to my childhood...as my son walks away from his.

A strong breeze continues to blow the scent of honeysuckle blossoms across my face...or is it the aroma of angels?  God, please let it be angels.

Living in a FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder) family is like being a real-life crash dummy.  The entire family is belted into a car without a steering wheel.  Then we're sent zinging down the FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome) lane, on an expressway without lines or signs, hurtling over the speed limit and out of control, denting fenders on either side, sometimes crashing over the medium, hitting other cars, or smashing into a concrete wall.  We stumble out of the accident, but before we can pull ourselves together we are belted into the car again and sent off on yet another scary trip, driven by an unseen, sinister force.  ~Bonnie Buxton, author, Damaged Angels

Teen girls...women of child-bearing age...if you are having sex without birth control, you are planning a pregnancy.  If you are having sex without birth control while consuming alcoholic beverages...you are planning a pregnancy which will result in a child with fetal alcohol spectrum disorder. 

Bottom line...there is no safe amount of alcohol during pregnancy.  We'll talk more about his later.

This is important.  I can tell you first-hand. My three sons by the gift of adoption live with fetal alcohol spectrum disorders.  Permanent brain damage for life.  There is not a more devastating birth defect.  It is a preventable birth defect.

Questions about fetal alcohol spectrum disorder?  Please ask.