Slurping Life

Just Breathe

Spring is here.

Therapy appointments, canceled.

Reading, 'riting, 'rithmetic, canceled.

"Go.  Take these bags.  Gather nature.  Pick up hints of spring.  Be happy."  Yesterday those were my words to the boys

Afterward I spread a blanket beneath the shadows of trees, and I saw delight spread across their faces.  This was a day of grace.  No requirements...learning not measured by quizzes or essays.

For as surely is the brain, the heart is an organ of learning.  It must be nurtured.

You have permission...to enjoy a day of grace.  And please, come back and share it with me.

    

The Heart of the Matter

Recent months find our family falling a smidgen behind with our homeschooling lessons.  Unexpected life events have a way of altering plans and schedules, but you all know that.  We have been working diligently to get back on task and pushing hard and furious to catch up.   That hasn't been such a good plan.  So I have been doing a lot of re-planning.  Let me rephrase that - AAARRRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!  Yeah, that's more like what I've been doing.

So finding a resource such as The Heart of the Matter online magazine was like sitting at the kitchen table with a good friend sipping tea and hearing the words, "Sweetie, it'll be alright.  Things will get back on track.  Just be patient."  Pour me another cup, please.

If you are a homeschooling family The Heart of the Matter is a delightful blend of encouragement and practical ideas to keep (or get) your homeschooling on track.  An eclectic group of contributors keep the content and inspiration flowing with a monthly issue and daily blogging.  The editors Amy S. and Amy B. have recently formed a research panel to "give us insight into what YOU want in a homeschool site and magazine."  I am thrilled to be a member of the panel.

Now you know.  Pop over and find tons of homeschooling resources in one location...and a friend to say "Sweetie, it'll be alright."

That Bottle of Wine Called My Name

Sometimes I simply lose my mind and take the boys shopping.  In my defense it is impossible to buy shoes for the boys without them...in a store...with me...trying on shoes...in a store...with me...

Me:   "Boys, we have to get new shoes for you guys, but first we'll grab a bite to eat."

Mac:  "I'm not hungry.  I won't eat.  Not even cookies."

Lee:  "I bet we're going to R*by Tuesday.  I don't like anything there."

Me:   "Yes, we are, and quite frankly I don't care if either of you eat.  You just watch me eat."

Wil:  "I'll eat.  I'm real hungry."

WHACK!

[sounds of gagging and choking follow...mixed with under-breath laughter]

WHACK!  [again]

Lee has whacked Wil, apparently for theoretically siding with me...mom...the mortal enemy of a thirteen year old boy.  Then when I reprimanded Lee, Mac laughed and, of course, Lee whacked him....while, Wil snuggly placed his hands around Lee's neck.  They all, of course, fell into a wrestling dog pile.  I, of course, watched and waited until they were finished.

We have yet to walk out the door of our home.  Fast forward, we are now in the SUV on our way to the restaurant...Lee the lone occupant of the third row seat...Mac and Wil in the second row seats.

Wil:  "I need to go the the driver's license office and take my driving test now."

Me:   "What are you talking about?  You're ten years old."

Mac:  "Mom, mom what's green, creamy and covered with chocolate?"

Wil:  "Now!  I must take my driver's test right now.  Then I want to buy a car."

Me:   "Mac, I have no idea.  Wil, you're talking foolishly.  We're going out to eat and buy shoes."

Wil:   "You don't understand.  I have to take my driver's test now."

Mac:  "Mom?"

Me:   "What, Mac?"

Mac:  "I asked you a riddle.  What's green, creamy and covered with chocolate?"

Wil:  [mutters] "Now"

Me:  "Hmmmm...I don't know, Mac.  What?"

Mac:  "A snot-fudge sundae."

Did I mention we're on our way to dinner?  Yum-o.

Lee:  "Mom, Mac brought that joke book with him.  I am not going to listen to his dumb jokes while I eat dinner.

Me:   "No problem.  You don't like the food where we're going, so you won't be having dinner.  Remember?"

Lee:  "hurrmph"

Wil:  [is growling like an angry bear]

Mac:  "Mom, mom, why did Ms. Dibbles put a stick of dynamite in her trunk?"

Lee:   [groans] "Shut-up, Mac!

Me:  "Lee, we do not tell people to shut-up."

Lee:  "Mac, be quiet before I punch you."

Mac:  "Just in case she had to blow up a flat tire."

Wil:  "Mooooooom!

Me:  "Wil, you are ten years old.  You have never even driven a car.  You...

Wil:  [squirms while shoving his hand deep into his jeans' pocket...then interrupts me while waving cash in the air]  "I am going to the driver's license testing place and tell the people I will pay them $4 if they will let me take the driving test."

Me:  "Wil, I  don't think a State employee can be bribed with $4.  Besides, you don't have a ride to the place, and we are not going to talk about this anymore tonight.  Okay, guys, we're here.  You know how to behave at dinner, and there will be serious consequences for anyone who breaks the rules.  Boys, indicate you hear me."

[in unison]:  "Yes, m'am."

Again, fast forward.  Dinner went well...only the usual get your hands off my food; burp/belch; I'm still hungry; did you see that fire truck that went by (while adjusting the window blinds); I'm still hungry; I feel like I'm going to barf; Mac, why are you holding your glass with your elbows?; No, we are not going to the driver's license place; Oh server...I'd like another plate of food (from the two who weren't going to eat);  uh-oh...ma'am, could we have extra napkins, please?.   You know, the usual meal.

Yet, on their way out of the restaurant an older couple stopped by our table and commented "What handsome, well-behaved boys you have."

Huh?  "Uh, thank you.  Have a good evening."  I wanted to asked if their hearing aid batteries needed replacing and if their eye wear prescriptions were up-to-date.  I suppose a mom's superhero hearing and x-ray vision pick up a lot more than those of the average stranger.  Thank goodness for the kindness of hard-of-hearing, vision-impaired people.  They gave me renewed strength to trudge forward toward the goal of purchasing new shoes for the boys.

Gratefully, the drive to the store was brief.

I will not drag out the dialog of shopping for shoes in the mega-sporting goods store, but I remember saying...hearing...

• No, you may not get roller blades in place of shoes.
• Please get your shoe out of the ball bin.
• Sorry, the driver's license place is closed.
• Where's Mac?  Mac?
• Put that cue stick back where you got it.
• Gross, oh man, gross!
• What!?  Is it illegal to fart?
• Did you turn that thing on?
• No, we will not be purchasing rifles with scopes.
• Where did you get that boxing glove?
• Maybe next time we'll buy a heavy bag (punching bag). 
• No, until then you may not use use brother's face.
• The driver's license place is closed.
• Get out of that gun safe.
• Where's Wil?  Wil?
• No, you may not get a trampoline in place of shoes.
• Stop, you're head is going to get stuck in there.
• I thought Dad was meeting us here?
• Yeah, me, too.  I'll call him.
• Sorry.  Excuse us.
• Could someone stick me with a needle that puts me to sleep cause this is boring.
• How I wish I had such a needle.
• You may not play disc golf inside the store.
• I don't know how you decide whether or not you like disc golf unless you try it before you buy it.
• [to a store employee] Hi, could you help us.  His shoe lace is caught in the elliptical.
• Where's Lee?  Lee?
• Help!  Over here...in this tent. Help!  The zipper's stuck.
• Thanks, mom.

We made our way to the shoe department, found shoes for all, headed for check-out and as I swiped a rectangular piece of plastic through the contraption...

Mac:  "Mom, mom, what is invisible and smells like bananas?"

Me:   "I have no idea."

Mac:  "Monkey burps."

Lee:  "Dork."

Wil:   "Tomorrow, I'm taking my driving test."

I smiled, gathered my little apes, and all the way home I heard a small, quiet voice calling my name.

Heard any voices this week?

Boy, That's Using Your Noodle

Mac:     You put spaghetti sauce on my noodles.

Wil:      You put noodles in my spaghetti sauce.

Lee:      Mom, is it okay if I mix my spaghetti sauce and noodles together?

Good grief!  Spaghetti is easy to cook.  Who knew it was so dang difficult to serve.

After finally getting the serving styles sorted, look at this...

Wil formed his first and last name (I have shown only the first initial of our last name) out of his spaghetti noodles which did NOT have sauce on them.  To fully appreciate the yee-haw moment of this, you would have to understand Wil's struggle with fine motor skills and his mental processing difficulties.  He can now verbally spell his complete name, write his full name with pencil on paper and -mama mia!- he can form his first and last name with spaghetti noodles.   Well, his complete first name is William, but he is called Wil and I'm counting this as he spells and writes his full name.   You would not argue that point with a proud mom, would you?

Biohazard Gear, Check...Mop and Pail...Check

I am taking a tea break, goodness knows it is well-deserved.  Today was math as usual with these characters and despite the...umm...er...challenges, it seems the lessons were learned and well, there are drugs for my headache.

Now for some reason this mom thinks it is a good idea to proceed with a chemistry experiment involving, but not limited to,  corn syrup, cooking oil and food coloring...corn syrup, cooking oil and food coloring, oh my.   It could be worse...we could be using these...

Photo credit from this site Photo Researchers.  There are some amazing photographs at this site, visit when you have a moment.

Yet Another Reason to Homeschool

During our ride home from the library yesterday as we crossed railroad tracks, my train-obsessed nine year old son said...

"Mom.  I really like these railroad tracks.  When I grow up I am going to build a house next to the tracks, order pizza everyday and watch the trains go by."

What could I do but smile knowing he would be happy...and think how great life would be if we all just do more of  "what makes us happy"?

The Ocean, The Jungle, The Farm or The Home

Today was a home schooling experience to remember forget.  There was a reading-phonics lesson with Dory; math with Tigger; and spelling words clucked by a chicken.  I flippin' kid you not.  Let's talk about this day.

W-H-O.  Who.  A word easily processed by the brain and verbalized..."who".  Well, easy enough for most of us but at this moment my brain aches.   My entire brain is throbbing with pain as if it has been repeatedly bashed into a concrete wall.  My Dory is male:

"Wil, today in your phonics lesson there is a sight word.  A sight word is a word that does not obey the rules of phonics.  You cannot sound it out.  W-h-o.  You must look at it and remember that those letters in that order spell the word who."

I continue to spell the word "w-h-o" while pointing to it in his phonics book and saying "who" several times as he repeats after me.  Immediately I point to the word in the book and ask, "Wil, what is this word?"  Wil stares at the word, attempts to sound it and looks up with a smile and says "I love you mom".

"I love you, too.  Now remember this sight word is WHO."  He repeats.  Then I ask again while pointing to the word, "Wil, what is this word?"  Wil looks at the word and again attempts to sound it.  He looks up with a smile and asks "Mom, could we go shopping for my birthday party?"

"On Friday we will go shopping for your party supplies."  Then I patiently repeat the process of spelling, pointing and pronouncing the word "who" while Wil watches and listens.  Need I go on, because I completely lost count of the number of times we repeated this cycle.  The little dude could never tell me the word was "who", and so I hugged him and kissed him and sent him outside to play.   There are simply days when a child living with cerebral palsy on the autistic spectrum and, thereby with encoding and short term memory difficulties, just does not get it.  His switch is flipped off.  Then there are days when his switch is flipped on and the neurons are firing.  No rhyme or reason but it sure makes for interesting conversations and school lessons.

Dory

Next was the matter of math with Lee (ADHD/bipolar) whose medication has recently become much less effective resulting in the current manic phase.  Oh yeah, he saw the psych recently who upped the dosage, but it is not yet reached effectiveness.  Apparently while I was not looking he had a spring implanted into his butt resulting in an extremely bouncy boy..."bouncy, trouncy, pouncy, flouncy, fun, fun, fun, fun!"   Equations are much more fun when solved with Tigger.

Tigger

Add into the mix Mac (Asperger's Syndrome) who would rather be anything other than human, and you have a chicken able to literally cluck his spelling words.  Please do not ask me to give a description of this because there is no way --not even for a lifetime supply of chocolate and wine-- that could be done.  I should have recorded it.  It would have sounded something like this (Download chicken.wav ) only louder and continuous.

Chicken

The reason I tell you these things is simple.  I am no expert on the special purposes with which my sons live, and the internet is already packed with clinical information and wonderful sites posted by experts.  So I hope that by sharing my real experiences it will help those of you in a similar situation to look at your life with humor and with the reality that you just do what you can do when you can do it.  Love your kids, pray, exercise and have some wine and chocolate. OK, those are my vices.  Care to share yours?